the hidden costs of doing it all
why saying ‘no’ can be the best move for your business
You’re a self-employed woman and you often feel torn between all your tasks and responsibilities? You feel that there must be a better way to live, to manage your energy and thrive in all areas of your life? Come and join me for Flow Into Balance Masterclass. To celebrate me coming back to business, it’s only 8€.
Hello my dear one,
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m getting back into work after being a full-time stay-at-home mom & homeschooler for 2 years.
I’d been feeling this call for a while now, and I’m honestly super excited to move into another chapter of my life, with more balance, more me-time, more power, more freedom, more usage of my brains and talents.
Because, let’s be honest, despite having ovaries, my zone of genius is NOT cleaning bathrooms or ironing clothes. Nor do I do very well when I depend financially on someone else.
So this week, for the first time in forever, I’ve been able to hire a babysitter to play with the kids while I went to enjoy my large foamy choco-cappuccino and my oh-so-quiet joyful workflow.
However…
I can see how easily I could fall back into the old traps and conditionings around productivity, success and failure.
The old habits of wanting to do it all for fear of not reaching my goals.
I can see how I’m pushed sometimes, by my own mechanisms to work longer hours into the night, to hustle more than necessary, to over-deliver and to take on more than I can chew.
At work, but at home too.
Yes, I’m a life coach. Yes, I’m also a mindfulness practitioner and a meditation teacher. But knowing about this stuff isn’t enough.
Working and living mindfully isn’t a one-and-done lesson. Embodying slow-life and slow-business is an ongoing practice that you need to be reminded of time and again.
Sometimes even daily.
The Myth of Doing It All
“I’m going to launch a podcast, and I’m going to write a blog, and I’m going to promote my brand on Instagram and Substack and LinkedIn and Facebook and Youtube, and I’m going to host a summit, and collaborate with other solo-preneurs, and create my new program and sell it, and create my website, and I’m going to do it by myself and within the next 3 months.”
Even if you know better, just like me you’re part of the hustle culture that praises those who stay busy, juggle multiple roles, and constantly push themselves. I even read it in a book by a famous coach : “if you don’t want to push and work at the week-end on your business, then maybe you shouldn’t have a business”.
Are you kidding me now? When are we finally going to stop promoting burnout as a medal for having grit and determination? When are we finally going to learn that constantly overcommitting, overdelivering, over-pushing ourselves erodes our energy, creativity, joy, and ultimately our mental and physical health?
So here’s a thought. Instead of saying yes to every opportunity, every collaboration, every marketing strategy that sounds like a good idea, every event, every request from your partner and your kids, every phone-call from your friends who need to vent about their own lives….
Try to say no.
Boundaries and Minimalism = Keys to Success
So, how do we escape the cycle of spreading ourselves too thin?
Boundaries & Minimalism
Setting boundaries around your time and energy isn’t selfish—it’s essential for success. Here’s why:
Boundaries create space for creativity: When you say no to new shiny objects and low-priority tasks, you create room for creativity to thrive. Your best ideas need time and space to emerge, and boundaries protect that space. That’s where smart prioritisation, time blocking and organisation come in.
Boundaries preserve joy: Too often, we say yes to things out of fear or obligation, only to find ourselves drained and frustrated. Of course, there are responsibilities that we cannot dodge, but more often than not we can compromise on how and when these responsibilities are taken care of.
Boundaries prevent burnout: Burnout isn’t always just the result of working too much. It’s more to do with the pressure we feel that we must take it all on or something terrible will happen, and then we fall short of our own impossible standards and anxiety creeps in. Boundaries act as a protective barrier, ensuring that you’re committing to the right projects and tasks, not constantly running on empty.
What all of my coaching clients learn with me is how to set healthy boundaries with themselves and with others in their life, and that is a huge part of embracing minimalism as well.
Minimalism isn’t just about clearing clutter from your physical space—it’s about simplifying your work life by focusing on what truly matters.
Here’s how minimalism can help you do more by doing less:
Aligned projects: It happened so often that I was invited for events and collaborations that didn’t truly align, but I said yes anyways. On the one hand, my ego was pleased that I was asked, and on the other hand it was scared as sh*t that it wouldn’t happen again if I said no. Guess what? Saying yes didn’t bring me much. By saying no to the wrong opportunities, I would have freed up time and energy for the right ones! Like finally building my back-end systems or finishing that freebie.
Impactful work: A bit of everything never creates momentum and results as much as a lot of one or two strategies. And you just can’t be everywhere at the same time, unless you hire a team! When your plate isn’t overloaded, you can do deeper, more impactful work. Instead of scattering your energy across multiple things, you can go all-in on what truly matters.
Learning to set healthy boundaries within your mind and with the people around you is as essential as applying minimalism. Both concepts allow you to cut out the noise and focus on high-impact tasks that move your business forward.
How to Learn to Say “No”: Prompts for Reflection
The issue of course is that for many of us, learning to say no is uncomfortable.
We worry about disappointing others, missing opportunities, and not doing enough. So here are a few prompts to help you get started:
1. What commitments currently feel heavy or out of alignment?
Sometimes, we hold onto tasks or projects simply because we’ve already started them, even though they no longer serve us. Reflect on what no longer feels right.
2. What am I saying yes to out of obligation, rather than desire?
It’s easy to get caught in the habit of saying yes because it feels expected. But how would your workday feel if you only said yes to what lights you up?
3. What could I remove from my plate today to create more space for what matters?
Challenge yourself to identify one task, commitment, or habit you can let go of. Watch how saying no opens up time and mental clarity.
Conclusion: Protect your time and energy
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or like there’s never enough time in the day, it’s time to rethink your relationship with “yes.”
Saying no isn’t about rejecting opportunities—it’s about protecting your energy and focusing on what will truly help you grow.
So, here’s my challenge for you: this week, take one thing off your to-do list.
Say no to something, even if it feels uncomfortable. You’ll be surprised at how empowering it feels to reclaim your time.
And if this is something you’re struggling with, I’d love to help. In my upcoming Flow into Balance Masterclass on September 26th, I’ll be diving deeper into how you can stop overworking, set boundaries, and find more balance in your business. Reserve your spot here (8€) if this resonates with you.
Let’s start saying no together—and make space for the work that truly matters.
Power and light,
Jessica
Holistic coach for sensitive & ambitious women who want to do business with heart, balance and integrity
Beautiful ❤️